No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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