He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
