Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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