I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
