i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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