Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
i've created a new STD.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
