On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
