In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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