no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
