She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
