I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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