I'm so fucking centered right now
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
