Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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