hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
