He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
