So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
