I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Nobody cheats on THIS.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
