New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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