Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
