Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
