I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Randomize
