Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
