you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
