We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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