Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
