SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
