Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
