in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
