Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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