matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
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