Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
