did you get engaged???
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
