You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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