covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize