Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
