Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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