not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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