before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
