somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
