Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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