oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
