i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
