508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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