I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
