You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
