im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
