just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He better not be in your backpack
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
