Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You were trust falling into bushes
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
