before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
