i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
