I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
