that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
