you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
