Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
