All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
