I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
