It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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