drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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