Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
