eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Dignity is for republicans.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Randomize