oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Even the bartender felt bad for me
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
