You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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