i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
