Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize